It's good to be back
Music: Temperance - Forever Young

The new TABOO opened with much fanfare on Thursday and I just paid a visit on Saturday night.

Well I'll be damn ...TT has now evolved into a social butterfly, so graceful as he flitted from one group to the other.
All the cheek kisses and champagne glass chinkings were sure getting a bit too much ... I guess that's what happens when you have a celeb bf .... or make that ex-celeb ... ok a rich ex-celeb

Anyway, the place is reminiscent of DJ Station in BKK and according to TT (who knows quite alot of the scene these days LOL) the guy who did the place was also responsible for Towel Club. The new Taboo is also just around the corner from WaterBar..like a brisk 5 min walk ...of course more if you happen to be tottering on 4 inch stilletoes hah!

The place was soooo fucking crowded, there was hardly any space to stand even. And I would never have been able to get in without TT's connections to the high profilers (bless him). I mean the queue extended a few metres back and it was not even 12.... Geez.

The birth of a new place must have made everyone in the community esctatic cos there were so many of them topless and high on substances ... I'm like gawd it's only a saturday night in November sigh. Anyway, there's four of these poles on the podium and u guys can only guess what the showponies did with them ... Giddiup i hear ya say hah!

I must say it feels DAMN GOOD to be back after a 4 weeks hiatus from AJ clubs ... yes I didn't mention this but the past month I have been spending my weekends at places the likes of Zouk and Mdm Wong, courtesy of my straight colleagues. Ok fine, I was to blame as well ..but it was only because I was a lovesick puppy mindlessly following W. But after the company's D&D last friday, the sight of him chasing after skirts under the influence of beer (eek) finally got me sobered up ... I'm really gonna cut him loose now.

And I have almost forgotten how good it feels to have male strangers pouring their attentions and affections on you, without even having me to lift a finger. The past 4 weeks I have been completely miserable as I tried futilely to get W to even notice me, sigh ... his loss I say hahaha .. ok shoot me now.

Anyway, back to the new TABS, I say Vagab you'd soooo love the place. Can't wait for you to come back and see it for yourself .. oooh and there's the Snowball party and Recovery as well ... hmm and maybe the Paradise NYE party ...

Only, don't hog the pole all to yourself ...haha!

Goodbye
Music: Michelle Branch - Goodbye to you


"How long does it take for a person to get over a crush?"

That is the question I am posing to you. I don't know myself. Mine has been going on for 5 weeks now and there's no signs of it waning yet...


*********************************************


Today, after work, I was waiting at Suntec for a girlfriend to get off her work. We planned to catch up over dinner then maybe watch a movie.

She was expectedly late again, so I sat down and started fiddling around with my phone. I decided it was time to clear out some of the sms-es in the inbox as it was getting too disorganised.

All of them I have kept because they sounded so sweet and I couldn't bear to delete them. I always thought it would be nice to read through them again in the future and be reminded that there really are people out there who cares about you.

But as I began to go through these old text messages, I realised how disconnected I have grown from them. What seemed like thoughtful messages that were cute-to-the-bits back then are nothing more than just some plain sentences in a cold digital font.

Simple msges such as "hey just wanna wish you good night. u wanna cum over to my place tomo to watch dvds?" to passsionate ones such as "babe u know i really like u. it doesn't matter if u don't feel the same. we can make it work" and even cheeky/horny ones "i think it's feeding time for ur snake..." used to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

But now, they have suddenly become a distant memory ...

As I read each and every sms stored in there, I felt bemused at how I used to treasure and keep these messages. At the same time, there was a dull sense of ache ...it felt like I had lost something inside, something pure, something innocent ...something true.

I sat there for a long time just staring at the phone ...

Then I started deleting those smses.



***********************************************



When it was all over, I felt lighter. Recharged. Cleansed.

Lesser baggages.

I felt more at peace and tranquil.

All that's left in the inbox are the 'cute' msges I get from W ...

Perhaps, in a few months from now, they would just be 'another luggage in another hall' ....



**********************************************



After dinner and then a scream session of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", I walked back home with my earphones on. Michelle Branch started belting out "Goodbye to you". I smiled.

Little raindrop started falling. I panicked and began to hasten my pace.

But then I stopped at the sudden realisation,

I walked slowly all the way back home ...

"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to"

NICE DAY
Music: Lux - 100 Billion Stars

Had a really nice Sunday outing today.

Went to Siloso Beach at Sentosa with my colleagues, where we spent the whole day just sunbaking, talking cock, watching other people, laughing crazily at ourselves as we desperately try to play volleyball in the midst of the oiled, bronzed bodies. Oh yeah, we also smoked ourselves silly, then quench our thirsts under the sweltering sun with Oranginas and Snapples. Yummmm .. simple luxuries indeed but often overlooked by others in their pursuits of "temporary highs" to satisfy themselves.

And the answer to the question on everyone's mind, is yes, W was there as well. His body ...hmmm not awesome or anything but its amazing how he keeps it lean with all those alcohol he consumes. Anyway, W and I were both carrying the same Mambo bag, even the same colour ... hehe I dunno why but that kinda convinced me even more that he is THE ONE pour moi! Haha ..oh stop u people, quit rolling your eyeballs already ...

Anyway, I suddenly realised how fair I am. I stuck out like a sore thumb amongst all those tanned bodies. Thus, I dumped my SPF25 sun spray and borrowed a colleague's SPF0 tanning oil and started baking. At the end, I had what seems to be a promising hint of hue. I am quite pleased with the results tho and quietly congratulated myself .. oh yeah I know what a narcissistic prick I am LOL.

At abt six, this young girl started started singing live jazz over a keyboard. She has a surprisingly good voice and we were wowed. With a couple more years and as she gains more in maturity, I am quite sure she can be the Nora Jones of Asia.

We left at abt seven and went to have Thai at Holland V ...well only 8 of us actually. 3 others including W have other appointments to attend to. I got home at abt 10ish ....

On reflections, today is such a perfect day, perfect skies and weather, perfect companions ... I suddenly realise the last time I actually went to a beach was last December when I went to North Bondi with some friends. That's almost one year ago ....

The bonds that I have developed with this nice group of colleagues also reminded me alot of my uni clique back then. We used to go to beaches during holidays and have BBQs and play volleyball as well .... Pangs of nostalgia crept within.... But no time to look back now and reminisce ... at least I have it for the moment now and hopefully more to come in the future.

LISTEN
Music: Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Been feeling too emotional lately ... I attribute this to the loneliness you get from living in a bustling metropolitan, where its people trudges past without a nary of another glance, all preoccupied with thoughts that are more important, never a moment to spare lest they get left behind.

The faster they shuffle along, the further they get from their destination.

Till the end, it seems like they are just trying to make headway on a conveyer belt moving in the opposite direction.

I feel lonely because I am yet in that rat race. I am a bystander, watching from outside the aquarium ... amazed, yet curious and perplexed on the intricacies and mind-boggling mechanisms of it all. What is the driving force of the whole system? How is it even able to sustain itself, without any seeming possibility at all?

The possibility that one day I might be just another rat amongst there, anonymous, unidentifiable with the rest of the masses ... who purpose in life seems to revolve SOLELY AROUNDa clockwork schedule of work, play, rest, eat (repeat as see fit) and I shudder.

Lots of questions unanswered and "no one reaches out a hand for you to hold" ... the feeling of loneliness can sometimes be unbearable. Especially when you just need that special someone to hold ... and that's it ..just to hold. My recent futile crush, only serves to exarcabate the problem.

I broke down ...

Twice.

In the middle of the road.

OK not break down, I teared but I felt really miserable.

I was not being a drama queen. It felt good to release all that pent up frustration, and I do not mean sexually, thank you.

Something's not right with my life, and I need to change it NOW.

Maybe I should start listening to the voice within.

Music: Jewel - Stand


You are SLIGHTLY antisocial! While you definitely
enjoy spending time with friends--you have
plenty of them--you have an introverted side as
well! No need to worry about that, though! In
fact, you are a very good middle man/middle
woman: you are comfortable both spending time
with friends and spending time alone! While it
may sometimes seem like everyone expects you to
be a social butterfly, it is important to take
some time off occasionally and get to know
yourself too!


HOW ANTISOCIAL ARE YOU?? (rate please)
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Got this from a friend today
Music: Zhang Jing Xuan - My Way



Waiting For Love


I sat alone and cried

hoping for that day

When the one I'm looking for

will come around my way


It hurts me deep inside

to be alone in the cold

Searching for true love

and for that someone to hold


I keep holding my breath

but how long must I do

My hope is slowly fading

for the right one to come through


I was told to keep the faith

for some day it will come true

That I must not look for love

and that's something I must do


Because love will find me

on the right time and place

It will be love at first sight

once we meet face to face