Goodbye
Music: Michelle Branch - Goodbye to you


"How long does it take for a person to get over a crush?"

That is the question I am posing to you. I don't know myself. Mine has been going on for 5 weeks now and there's no signs of it waning yet...


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Today, after work, I was waiting at Suntec for a girlfriend to get off her work. We planned to catch up over dinner then maybe watch a movie.

She was expectedly late again, so I sat down and started fiddling around with my phone. I decided it was time to clear out some of the sms-es in the inbox as it was getting too disorganised.

All of them I have kept because they sounded so sweet and I couldn't bear to delete them. I always thought it would be nice to read through them again in the future and be reminded that there really are people out there who cares about you.

But as I began to go through these old text messages, I realised how disconnected I have grown from them. What seemed like thoughtful messages that were cute-to-the-bits back then are nothing more than just some plain sentences in a cold digital font.

Simple msges such as "hey just wanna wish you good night. u wanna cum over to my place tomo to watch dvds?" to passsionate ones such as "babe u know i really like u. it doesn't matter if u don't feel the same. we can make it work" and even cheeky/horny ones "i think it's feeding time for ur snake..." used to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

But now, they have suddenly become a distant memory ...

As I read each and every sms stored in there, I felt bemused at how I used to treasure and keep these messages. At the same time, there was a dull sense of ache ...it felt like I had lost something inside, something pure, something innocent ...something true.

I sat there for a long time just staring at the phone ...

Then I started deleting those smses.



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When it was all over, I felt lighter. Recharged. Cleansed.

Lesser baggages.

I felt more at peace and tranquil.

All that's left in the inbox are the 'cute' msges I get from W ...

Perhaps, in a few months from now, they would just be 'another luggage in another hall' ....



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After dinner and then a scream session of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", I walked back home with my earphones on. Michelle Branch started belting out "Goodbye to you". I smiled.

Little raindrop started falling. I panicked and began to hasten my pace.

But then I stopped at the sudden realisation,

I walked slowly all the way back home ...

"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to"