hope

Depression,
over an innocence lost.
Less likely to be hurt,
but not necessarily happier.

I had a dream;
of a young friend of mine.
He is not really close enough to be a friend,
yet at the same time,
he is more than just an acquaintance.

In my dream,
I felt like I've known him forever.
I dreamt I was there when he came out and embraced his sexuality.
A young fresh thing,
full of ideals and romanticism'
sadly lacking in emotional anchorage
and none the wiser of the tribulations ahead...

He thought coming out was the tough deal'
once he managed to overcome it,
everything else would be hunky dory.

I felt I was there as he encountered guys after guys,
delectable and so his type.
I even know these guys personally.
I feel bad as if I was aware of the dramatic irony
and yet as a bystander,
I stood there and did nothing ...
I wanted to help but I couldn't ...

As I watched,
tragedies unfurled....
Time and again,
this poor young friend of mine
was fucked and mentally fucked.
Abandoned and wanting more,
than just a physical release,
he was exposed to the harsh reality ...

I know these guys personally.
They don't mean to hurt,
yet know not they, the games they played,
the dreams they built,
the expectations they instilled,
are nothing but not.

I imagined him to coming to terms to himself,
as his heart freezes over,
his spirit broken for good,
his expressions barely betraying his true emotions.
Weeks go by,
and come months
then years,

it would seem like he has already accepted his fate.

At that point,
I just wanted to bring him into my arms
and hold him tight,
and tell him I know how he's feeling
and that it's okay to let it out.
I imagined those pent up emotions in him
would come pouring forth.
It would be a totally different side of him
that I have yet to see ..
And I won't let go,
till the very last drop of tears has been shed,
the very last shred of indignity been resolved...

And then, finally without any warning,
he found someone,
someone sincere, honest and true to the world.
There was a renewed faith
a glimmer of hope.

At first trepidations,
ginger steps of uncertainty.
Slowly, I could even hear the walls between them crumbling down ...

They have been together for almost six months now,
and they are happy as can be.

I am so glad that his weather beaten ship,
with its tattered sails
and weary crew,
has finally come home to its harbour ...

There is hope after all.