Sinister adulations? (or just plain insecurities?)
Music: Don Richmond - Bent

Been another crazy weekend at the clubs..sigh wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life, wasting my youth in all these frivolous pursuits that come to nothing at the end of the day, not to mention those eardrum-busting noises and lack of sleep, whose repercussions I will pay for when I age later. Did somebody say premature hearing loss and wrinkles? *shudder*

TABOO
On Saturday, went to watch LXG with a cousin of mine, where I binged on caramel popcorns in the cinema (it's been awhile since I had them as they don't seem to have it in Sydney) and felt quite guilty afterwards. Then, at about 11pm, I sneaked out of home and met up with Dazz and his new squeeze Kav at Maxwell Food Centre. They also brought along an American-raised Malaysian by the name of Gav.

Maxwell is already swarming with all the queens and bois by then, to the amusement of Dazz. Watching them bitch and prance around, with other 'mainstream' older folks going about their 'char kway teows' and 'yong tau foos' is really an experience by itself LOL. The 2 groups of people seem so incongrous side by side, one cannot help but see the irony of modern day Singapore, the worsening of the digital and generational gap.

Anyhow, we entered Taboo at about half past 11 and sad to say it was pretty dead. Didn't pick up till about an hour later. Even then, we agreed that the crowd was totally 'SALAH'. Wonder where all the cute ones have gone, still in recovery mode after the Nation weekend perhaps. Me and Dazz did spot a hottie though, who doesn't look like a local at all. But he was kinda 'attitude' and 'arrogant'.

A few drinks later, Kav was slightly pissed so Dazz left with him at 2. Me and Gav hung around like 2 best pals, dancing topless on the podiums at times as well. Hehe I was bored okay plus it was my first time at Taboo, and as they say ..there's always a first time .......At about 3, we moved towards the entrance, and that was when all the action started.

The hottie I was talking about, his friend came up and talked to me. He later introduced the hot one as Jason to me. Boy, is he even cuter up close and that body of his ...swoon. Anyway, he was quite drunk and his friend explained that Jason just went through a very bad breakup and is feeling the pits now. Another glance at Jason confirmed this, what came across as aloof previously now presents itself as depressed and anger (or maybe that's what i wanna think). Loyal, emotional, killer looks and bod, what a lethal combinations in a man, no wait a hunk ... my impression of this guy just jeeps getting better. Anyhow, Jason was so pissed drunk that his friend had to drive him home, so that was it.

Then, another group of guys came along and I was introduced to C and Y, the latter who looks uncannily like Daniel Wu. I was again slightly besotted (I know, I'm a slut). Both of them are friends of the ex-MCS actor Sebastian Sim. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and went along our seperate ways.

CHINABLACK
Been hearing so much about the ChinaBlack party last week that we decided to check it out on Sunday night. I suspect they are trying to 'compete' with Centro Bois Night, hence the FREE entry and FREE flow of drinks (I kid you not). When me, Dazz, Kav and a girlfriend of theirs, C got inside the club (which HM thinks reminds him of a funeral parlor), the place was quite pumping. The 3 of them had quite a few drinks, I stuck by my calorific-limitations for the day and declined any offers, thank you.

Met Y and C there again and was told that most of the crowd would probably move to Centro, come 1pm, which was what happened. The crowd thinned considerably by then, everyone left including HM and his friends. Guess they were only there for the drinks hah! Saw Hossan Leong with a GWM bear ...LOL.

This Taiwanese girl called Lui came up to me, mistaking I was her friend from HK, who is a model (*beam with pride* hehe). She is really kewl though and we chatted abit. Also, the chief artistic director of Toy Factory (the group responsible for Bent!) talent scouted me for a role in their new play. I still have his name card but I don't think I'd be interested...

CENTRO
By 2pm, ChinaBlack was practically dead. On hearing news that Centro will be open till 6am (in their new luxury bar Lola), we took a cab headed to One Fullerton. Sad to say, after we got in, we found out that it is open until 4am. We still had fun anyway since C's friend works there at the bar and she and Kav practically drank themselves silly, which is why Kav and Dazz had to leave by 3am.

Me and C bumped into Y and also Lui on the dance floor.

While dancing with Y, an Indian guy who tried to pick me up at CB earlier on, approached me again. It seems like he knows Y as well, old friends from the look of it. Anyway, a couple of times, in hushed tone he asked me if I was interested in Y. And then, he warned me to beware of Y or I'd get hurt. He even said that he has been there before and told me to be careful of Y.

I was shocked.

Why do these things keep happening to me? I don't deny that I have been quite wary of Y since the very first beginning (I get insecure with good looking guys even though I lust after them). But when it came to this, I am not sure who to trust. Are there other motives behind Y's attentions towards me other than just pure homo-attraction? ie is he a player? OR is the Indian guy just trying to prevent us from getting together because he is interested in me as well?

I can't decide whose story to believe. Confused as I was, I refused to let it ruin my night and brushed it aside. But, the damage has been done by then. I felt betrayed and slowly but surely, started inching back into my shell as my only resort of defense mechanism.

Come 4am, I was only too glad to leave the place and retreated back into my safe haven of bedroom .....